Fears and Repercussions


     My last post I wrote soon after getting home from the hospital.  At the time it was the hardest thing I’ve been though emotionally and physically.  I didn’t know that things would get worse before the summer was over.

     I’m really such a lucky woman, when I broke down, and believe me I broke down I was able to go to one of my best friends and just unload everything on him.  I didn’t want to break down with DH, he was going through his own mental freakout.  When I went to my friend and unloaded everything on him, he just sat and listened to me, and that’s what I needed more than anything.

     I think about my 16-year-old daughter dressing my by herself so I wouldn’t be naked when the fire department and EMS arrived.  My neighbor was here when the ambulance brought me out and was sure I wouldn’t be coming home.  Even now, if DH can’t reach me on the phone he panics, and I spent weeks afraid to fall asleep, scared that I wouldn’t wake up. 

     I remember vomiting so much the night before, that cognitivly I wasn’t able to put together that the more I threw up the more my blood sugars would increase and I couldn’t seem to wrap my brain around the fact that I needed to get to the hospital.  My family and I sure learned alot.  I printed and posted the symptoms of DKA, so we would know what to do if this happened in the future.  I remember my ribs hurt when I took a deep breath, but I kept telling myself it was just a panic attack and all I needed was a good nights sleep.  I guess that explains the pneumonia.

     I’m still having effects from the coma.  My short term memory seems to have left me completely, I figure it’s either the coma or all the pot I smoked in high school coming back to haunt me.  I prefer to blame the coma.

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