Christmas is right around the corner, followed by New Year’s. It’s this time that I find myself reflecting on this year and thinking of what I want to change for the next one. There have been so many changes this year, I’ve accomplished more than I thought I would and less than I planned.
I made my annual pilgrimage to Texas to spend time with my adult children, my granddaughter only to discover that I had more family there than I knew. I jumped out of an airplane with my daughter and tried sushi for the first time, as well as sake. I like the sake more than the sushi and like the skydiving way more than the sushi. I’m pretty sure that I shouldn’t have done both on the same day however.
I found my worth and value as a human being in Texas. Given that I seem to be a perpetual patient I didn’t think I had any anymore, but I found out otherwise. I learned that I still have something of value to offer beyond being sick, and I also learned that how I feel about myself relates to how I’m doing physically. For the first time while I was in Texas I didn’t have to go to the hospital.
I also made another trip, this one to New York. It was my second time there and I learned that I could still travel and have a good time with my family. I also met Kelsey Grammar and Betty White, that was a hoot. I also learned not to take my shoes off on the plane because there was no way I was going to get them back on. I also learned that if I leave my left overs in the hotel room while walking Times Square with Sarah, my husband was going to eat it all, including my cheese cake.
I don’t know how many times I was in ICU this year, I lost count. It feels like it might be less than last year and I’m hoping more than next year.
I lost my best friend this year and I miss her every day. I also found closure in helping another friend, no daughter find closure in a horrific part of her life and now she is able to put it behind her and move forward.
I’ve found some friends in the blogosphere and made old friends new again. I’ve also gotten my sister and her crazy girlfriend out of my house, and if that was the only thing I accomplished, believe me it would be enough.
What can I say about my husband? We’ve been together 17 years now and it seems that our love just grows deeper. He’s sweeter and kinder than ever and I love him. As my caretaker he has more patience than I give him credit for.
It’s been 2 years since I started blogging, I’ve re-read it from the beginning and just reflecting on everything.
I’ve covered a lot of things The Coma, I thinks I’m going to do all of these in capital letters, they had that much of an impact with me. Now I have to start over and in no particular order.
The Pancreatic Tumor
Removing My Port
Replacing My Port
Countless other procedures
Tranfers Via The ALS Ambulance
Well, I think I hit all the hight points anyway. Now I want to set some goals this new year. I’m thinking I want to try the cymbalta. Depression kind of creeps up on me slowly without me being aware of it until I’m mired in it.
Daily exercise, and for sure much better control of my diabetes, I feel like I’m always putting out fires instead of preventing them in the first place. To that end I’m going to appeal my insurance companies to approve the insulin pump for me.
I’ve also done much that I’m proud of, I went to Texas for a couple of weeks and made it to New York with the family for a long weekend. Of course it was when they were breaking records for temp and humidity. I went skydiving, I tried sushi. Note to self: Do not try the skydiving and the sushi in the same day. Rudy and I noticed and commented on how peaceful and loving our house had become. We were in a very good place, the equilibrium was palpable. That being said, there were some challenges.
It was a tough year, emotionally, and mentally. My sister and her crazy girlfriend moved in and it was very difficult not getting entangled in their drama, then just my sister was here. That was hard.
My sister moved back to Kentucky about a month ago. Rudy and I are getting our mojo back. There’s a lot going on right now, I’m getting my sewing room set up, I’m on the hunt for a dress form. I want to try reworking vintage clothing, it appeals to the hippy in me.
I also want to give a big “Thank You” to all of my readers, I have learned from you as well. Keep reading and commenting.
Right before I left for New York, I saw my doctor to go over my MRI results. He said my shoulder showed a lot of inflammation and for that to show up on an MRI means it’s really pretty bad. My C-spine showed 3 herniated discs in my neck. Normally, he would try steroid injections, but he had some concerns, Steroids lower the immune system and send blood sugars through the stratosphere. Soooo, it’s off to see the neurosurgeon.
I really don’t want another surgery. I’ve been getting pins and needles down through both arms that I assumed were neuropathy, really painful that lasts all day long. Evidently it’s from the herniated discs. As much as I don’t want another surgery, if I could get a significant reduction in pain maybe I could go back to work. How in the hell did I manage to herniate 3 discs anyway? It certainly was not from looking at hot guys in speedo’s.
I guess I’ll know more after I see the surgeon. A friend of mine just had surgery for 2 herniated discs in her neck and she has a 90% reduction in her pain and gives me a lot of hope, that’s the doctor I’m going to see. I know they go in through the neck and that sounds pretty high-risk to me. I’ll post an update after I see him.
I know the hospital has internet, so who knows, I might just update while I’m in the hospital. Of course the last time I did that, I emailed my sister and told her I was going to move to Kentucky and become a lesbian. That took some explaining.
I’m so happy to be home, NYC was a bust. My husband couldn’t leave the Hotel room he got so sick. Sarah and I decided to make the best of it and she and I had a good time walking everywhere. Lisa went out walking with us the first night and she pretty quickly learned that New York is not a good place to text while walking.
It was soooo hot while we were there. I don’t know if it was all the walking or not but I got severe pitting edema in my feet, legs and hands. Flying made it worse and I ended up walking barefoot at Midway airport. I slipped my sandals off while flying and couldn’t get them back on to save my life.
The shopping was awesome, I think the cheesecake was good, though it was hard to tell given that Rudy ate all of mine. I can’t rate the reuben sandwich I ordered because he ate that too!
We stayed at the New Yorker and had an incredible view. Our suite had a terrace and we could see Madison Square Garden, and the Empire State building was directly across from us.
There are a lot of lessons learned from this trip as well. I’m still processing what those were. One of them just might be that the third martini is almost always a mistake. If you ask for extra olives you get enough to fill you up.