If it wasn’t for the note to my kids, it might have been titled “How My Sex Life has Changed Since Chronic Pain/Illness. Frankly I thought the warning to my kids was more important. As it is now any psychiatrist they … Continue reading
Hospital (Photo credit: José Goulão)
I know I know, it took me awhile to get around to my blog. Apologies to all my readers, life has been crazy.
I’ve always written that I want to be honest and true to myself in my writing, otherwise what’s the point? It really was a rough summer for me and a personal low. I think I already wrote about my new ulcer, if I haven’t just know that I have a new ulcer. I think it was July when I landed back in the hospital and my labs were really good so I thought I would be going home, I didn’t realize that right behind me my blood pressure decided to do something ridiculous like be 50/30, so once again I found myself in ICU.
I think I’ve always made it clear to everyone that I’m a chronic pain patient in pain management and on some pretty heavy pain medication, and when I can’t keep anything down that includes my pain medicine so by the time I get to the ER I’m in pretty rough shape from the pain. However I knew there wasn’t a lot they could do for me with my low bp, but by the next morning it was back to normal. The doctor came in to make rounds and I asked him to put me back on my oral pain meds or injections and imagine my surprise when he said no that every time I’m in the hospital I’m on morphine and I was a drug seeker. Really? I had my meds in my purse not 5 feet away from me. I explained that to him to no avail. I was so upset I left and I just managed to stay out of the hospital until last night. A couple of trips to the ER aside.
evidently, he was the only doctor on staff who felt that way, because every time I’ve been in the ER I’ve been given pain meds and no, I didn’t ask for them. I guess I’m now a little defensive about the whole damn subject.
Last week, my husband had to have arthroscopic surgery on his left knee and he’s been out of work for the better part of a month and I can’t remember a time when we’ve been this broke. Don’t get me wrong, we’re getting by day by day but wondering where the grocery money is going to come from is stressing us both out. Did I mention we’re supposed to move in about 11 days and I have no idea where the money to close is going to come from? I’m keeping the faith the Lord will provide.
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I saw a pain management doctor last week. He took me off the percocet due to the Tylenol and my liver enzymes, and changed up some of my other meds. I really liked him. He got into how my pain is affecting my life and thinks we can maximize my pain meds to improved my level of functioning. I’m definitely feeling “stoned” from the new meds but he assures me that my body will adjust. I’m doing more at home and I’m looking at the meds a little differently, instead of seeing them as a crutch, I’m seeing them as a tool that allows me to participate in my life. As Martha Stewart would say “It’s a good thing.”
A very scary thing happened Saturday evening. Rudy and I went for a golf cart ride and he ran over the mailboxes in front of our house. I didn’t really think anything of it except that it was an accident and kind of a funny one at that. When he turned around he narrowly missed the utility pole and I thought he was just being a smart ass. We continued on and he was driving so close to the right hand side of the road that it was starting to scare me. I still thought he was being a smart ass. He hit a tree that caught me in my right shoulder and pulled it all the way behind me. The pain hit so fiercely that I immediately vomited and started yelling at Rudy to take me home. He was looking at me blankly and wouldn’t stop driving. He kept narrowly missing everything on the right hand side. I was starting to panic and was yelling at him to either take me home or stop so I could walk home and he kept driving past our street. He finally dropped me off, and I ran into the house cradling my arm. A neighbor of ours was sitting outside and he later told me that Rudy hit his truck twice and the fence leaving again.
When he got back he came into our bedroom and kept asking me why I was so mad at him. All I could say is “Are you kidding me?” I told him what he was doing and I noticed he still had a blank look on his face, when it suddenly hit me what might be wrong. I googled stroke symptoms, asked him a few questions and had him take his blood pressure. I knew we had to get him to the hospital, but he was so hostile with me it was like he didn’t even know me. I went to our neighbor and one of our best friends and told him I think Rudy is having a stroke, please come down and see if you can help me talk him into going to the hospital. That’s when he told me about Rudy hitting his truck and the fence. He came down and told Rudy what happened and he finally consented to letting us take him to the hospital. Cat scan showed no brain bleed and we followed up with our own Doctor on Tuesday who told us this could absolutely be a residual effect from the electrocution. He also said this might never happen again, but he wants us to follow-up with a neurologist as a precaution. Basically he thinks Rudy might have thrown a clot. He referred to it as a transient ischemic stroke aka a warning stroke.