If it wasn’t for the note to my kids, it might have been titled “How My Sex Life has Changed Since Chronic Pain/Illness. Frankly I thought the warning to my kids was more important. As it is now any psychiatrist they … Continue reading
It’s such a long story and I thought I had to tell it all at once. It’s been a long time and it’s a long story, so I’m going to take my time. I hardly know where to begin.
I have been very sick this past year, the pancreatitis and the gastroparesis have been horrific. My weight dropped, I still vomit constantly quickly become dehydrated and as a consequence my diabetes becomes very hard to control and I find myself in DKA.
Sarah spent the night at home in April and found me in septic shock the next morning. This was a Friday and except for getting into the ambulance I don’t remember anything until Sunday. This is what I’ve been told. My temperature was 94, I was in acute kidney failure. I had a GI bleed so I was getting blood transfusions and I think my blood pressure was 80/50. The first thing I remember is hearing the doctor tell me they almost lost me.
Rudy went home to grab a bite a come back and the doctor called and told him to hurry back. I didn’t know I was so sick. My usual symptoms weren’t there. I wasn’t vomiting but I do remember Sarah coming in my room all night and telling me I was sick.
Since November of last year I have been admitted to the hospital at least every month, several times I’d only been home for a few days when I would have to go right back in. While I was in the hospital Rudy and Sarah moved me to the downstairs bedroom because I started randomly passing out. Probably a good decision but I loved my huge bedroom upstairs and hate being downstairs.
For a while, I truly thought I was dying and perhaps I was. I was also starting to feel ready to go. Turns out I’m a lot tougher than I ever gave myself credit for.
Hospital (Photo credit: José Goulão)
I know I know, it took me awhile to get around to my blog. Apologies to all my readers, life has been crazy.
I’ve always written that I want to be honest and true to myself in my writing, otherwise what’s the point? It really was a rough summer for me and a personal low. I think I already wrote about my new ulcer, if I haven’t just know that I have a new ulcer. I think it was July when I landed back in the hospital and my labs were really good so I thought I would be going home, I didn’t realize that right behind me my blood pressure decided to do something ridiculous like be 50/30, so once again I found myself in ICU.
I think I’ve always made it clear to everyone that I’m a chronic pain patient in pain management and on some pretty heavy pain medication, and when I can’t keep anything down that includes my pain medicine so by the time I get to the ER I’m in pretty rough shape from the pain. However I knew there wasn’t a lot they could do for me with my low bp, but by the next morning it was back to normal. The doctor came in to make rounds and I asked him to put me back on my oral pain meds or injections and imagine my surprise when he said no that every time I’m in the hospital I’m on morphine and I was a drug seeker. Really? I had my meds in my purse not 5 feet away from me. I explained that to him to no avail. I was so upset I left and I just managed to stay out of the hospital until last night. A couple of trips to the ER aside.
evidently, he was the only doctor on staff who felt that way, because every time I’ve been in the ER I’ve been given pain meds and no, I didn’t ask for them. I guess I’m now a little defensive about the whole damn subject.
Last week, my husband had to have arthroscopic surgery on his left knee and he’s been out of work for the better part of a month and I can’t remember a time when we’ve been this broke. Don’t get me wrong, we’re getting by day by day but wondering where the grocery money is going to come from is stressing us both out. Did I mention we’re supposed to move in about 11 days and I have no idea where the money to close is going to come from? I’m keeping the faith the Lord will provide.
So much to catch up on I’m not even sure where to start. I’ll be posting an update in the next day or two, I promise.
Back in the hospital we’ll fill everyone in when I’m back to a full sized keyboard. thank you to everyone for all thr cards,letters, well wishers and prayers. They mean the world to me and my family
Why I Write
One of the first people to read my blog when I first started writing. He was a great encouragement and one reason why I kept going. Pop on over to read his blog, it’s fasinating learning about medical care on the other side of the world
It’s been a rough couple of weeks. Rudy had to take me to the ER four times I think, and I was admitted twice. I simply could not stop vomiting. The phenergan doesn’t seem to be working as well as it did. In fact one doctor gave me a shot of Thorazine, that knocked me out for a good 6 hours. As soon as I woke up though I was still throwing up.
I could go into ketoacidosis very easily, fortunately I never got to that point. The gastroparesis has gotten really bad even though my glucose readings are good.
I had to have some minor surgery, I was discharged the same day and damned if I wasn’t back in the hospital the next day. I have to follow up with a gastroenterologist.
What scared my husband is that I went over a week without eating anything. Chicken water and jello doesn’t count. He’s watching me lose more and more weight and it really does bother him.
On the other hand I’m feeling much better now and I’m looking forward to spending time with him.
I found out more things from my hospitalization in March when I was on the ventilator. My nurse told me I was septic and the reason I was so combative was that I wasn’t breathing. That’s not what was in my head though. In my head I just wanted them to slow down and tell me what they were doing. evidently there was no time for that. I’m still having some anxiety over all that, but it is getting better.
I’m looking forward to this week with my husband, thanks for listening.